We popped champagne, toasted in the Jacuzzi, and dried off.On my way out, Rich slipped an envelope in my purse.For the gentleman of means, a mutually beneficial arrangement provided no-strings-attached companionship, much like From the start, I was an unlikely candidate for the site: a quirky girl-next-door type with the face of a nun.
Thanks to my lucrative exploits, I was able to move to New York after graduation and pursue many ventures: I tried internships, enrolled in a film course, and performed off-Broadway. Three months later, back in New York, I was seeing no one. "I believed I'd acted deliberately, pragmatically, as a conscious adult.
In my spare time, I cultivated tomato plants, beat every level of Candy Crush, and taught Zumba to the elderly—sleeping with rich men who treated me like their paid princess was my secret second life. I was hopeful about returning to school, but without the Daddies I lacked direction. Becoming a Sugar Baby was not the path I'd envisioned for myself, but I viewed it as part of my journey to a life of stability—and human connection.
Updating my zip code on Seeking Arrangement, I spent weekends at the Plaza with one affluent senior citizen and visited another after my weekly puppet-making class. They were supposed to be a means to an end, but I still felt lost, devoid of ambition or any clear idea of what I wanted. Still, as more time passed, I couldn't help but feel haunted by what I was giving away.
Dating Sugar Daddies felt like a natural, preferable alternative to submitting to marriage or a stressful career. For me, sex work had become a means of stalling—the ultimate distraction, vocationally and intimately. Every time I saw couples together I wondered, why don't I want to share my life with someone?
I didn't hate intercourse; it felt like exercise—sweaty and cardiovascular. With nothing at stake for me emotionally, money replaced the pursuit of pleasure.